I just learned a very valuable lesson…Always save your work! just when I completed what I thought was a very engaging and well written thought, zap! It was erased as if the thought had never occurred to me. Oh well…

As human beings, excuses are so ingrained in our mind that at times you would think that they no longer represent habit but instead nature or our way of life. In a society filled with get rich quick schemes and promises of instant gratification it is amazing that the word “can’t” seems to be such a stifling and counterproductive word. But it exists today as the hammer in our tool belt of incompetence and denial.

Now of course I understand that there are certain limitations (perhaps physical) that prevent us from accomplishing the things we want, but overall I would say that “can’t” is often mis-used. We use can’t when we really mean to say “won’t”. Yes, this does seem quite remedial but just stop and think about it before you habitually use the overwhelmingly accepted and often unchallenged word “can’t” or cannot in your vocabulary. Challenge yourself to question whether it is appropriate in the given situation and ask the introspective and unfortunately unusual … why can’t I?

I’m not making any promises but I wonder if you really “can’t” leave your job? I wonder if you you really “can’t” eat a more healthy diet or if you “can’t” find time to do the things you enjoy? I would venture to guess that you “won’t” sacrifice the loyalty you have displayed (or perhaps you feel as though your talent will not be appreciated elsewhere), you “won’t” try to embrace new foods and you “won’t” limit other people’s priorities to make room for yours. (keep in mind that I tend to use the implied ‘you’ as often I am thinking about past situations that actually apply to me)

But it is the mind that should be your hammer since it is truly the most powerful tool. It is the command center for your body and the translator of your heart and soul. It is adaptable and so is your sense of worth, taste and priority. It is this new and seemingly junior varsity talent acquisition that has helped me to make some of my more recent decisions, as have been expressed in the annals of this very blog.

However, this is where I shift gears and move away from the first person as my life ceased to be a solo mission a couple months ago. It can now be best described as one journey with two moving parts instead of one. When we last left off Felicia and I were on our way to Denver. First it should be known that Denver, as I now know, is one of the treasures of the western United States. Coloradoins will tell you in a second that people are gravely mistaken when they picture endless snow storms and the like. In fact the statement, “there are 320 days of sunshine in Denver” is usually followed by “but let’s just keep that between us. we don’t want everyone moving out here”. Denver is gorgeous beyond words and the Rockies are truly something everyone should see for his/herself. The unfortunate part of the trip was that we experienced record lows. In 1886 it was -4 and in 2006 they hit -7 not including the wind chill. The first few days were cold beyond cold with low visibility throughout the day. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even see the mountains until day 4. Which, if you’ve visited Denver, is a truly unbelievable occurrence.

The purpose of our trip was to visit an old friend, find a home, obtain new jobs and return to Connecticut to prepare for the move. Pheeewwwww!!!! Without ever really questioning ourselves (true we needed to work within our limits and curb expectations), we set out and accomplished everything we planned. We got re-acquainted with a childhood friend of Felicia’s, made an offer that was later accepted on a townhome (almost 2,000 sq ft, 3br, 3bth, full bsmt, fireplace with a Western Plain/ski lodge feel) and secured paid jobs. I will be working with a local college as an admissions representative and Felicia signed on with a local modeling agency. Her goal is to find a home with a new Pharmaceutical company eventually but she is not looking to settle.

We now have boxes and wrapping tape up to our ear lobes but it is actually a stimulating visual effect and a reminder of a transition set into motion by mutual desire. Working backwards: We close on April 3rd, fly out of Connecticut on the 2nd, have a “moving away” party on March 31st and the movers will show up on the 30th. Yes, it all seems to be happening very quickly but it is to be expected. After all, this is how we put our minds to work. This is what we wanted and we challenged ourselves accordingly.

So when people ask “why Denver?”… now I just say because we CAN!

A common expression used for a good book is a “page turner”. It’s easy to understand the meaning of this expression if you have experienced two things: (1) A story that you are unable to relate to and reads very slowly…may even seem dull (2) A story that seems to draw you in so you feel a connection to what is being detailed with words…somehow it’s appealing to you and captures your interest. Without having had both of these experiences, I would venture to say that you couldn’t really appreciate a “page turner” which would obviously be the later of the two described above.

For me, my life has been a “page turner” as of late. Not because I have been in a rush to get to the end (although I am keenly aware that there will be an end; that keeps me motivated to enjoy each page) but because it is uniquely mine and I have put myself in a story that appeals to me and ultimately makes me happy. I think that is so overrated these days and 1 year ago this month I began to really think about what it was that was going to make me happy (it was around my birthday on the 17th of course). Without thinking about what I was “supposed” to do or what was”right”… for once I paused to ask myself…‘WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE?’ Not, ‘what job do you want?’ Not ‘how much money do you want to make’. Not even ‘what will make your resume look good?’ Just simply…’what do you want out of life?’ Because when I turn that last page, the answers to any the above questions will not really matter.

So I sat down last year and scripted the following answers:

- To be orderly in person and work
- To not fear mistakes; only the absence of a response
- To contribute to the success of others that follow my path
- To maintain integrity at all times
- To make money a slave to my personal pursuits
- To become financially independent over time
- To seek first to understand, then to be understood
- To exercise wisdom in what I chose to eat
- To act and not be acted upon
- To keep free of addictive and destructive habits
- To continue to develop my awareness of culture, identity and personal strengths
- To learn from those that have come before me
- To continue to seek knowledge and new proficiencies
- To remember that true wisdom is a balance of knowledge and compassion
- To choose long term happiness over short term joy
- To have a family to protect and love

and the biggest one for me

- TO CHALLENGE MYSELF OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE

Having listened to my heart last year, I finalized a decision that my mind took many months to cope with. In fact, I think my mind was so set on auto pilot that it actually began to send aggressive signals to my neuro center. Some of you may know that I battled long and hard against a quirky (by no means dangerous or painful - as I’m sure we all know people that have dealt with or are dealing with serious disorders that are much more threatening) neurological disorder that literally put my body into fits when my mind was triggered by one of a few things including stress, nervousness, fatigue and anxiety.

When I finally realized that my body was screaming for me to ignore my instincts and to listen to my unconscious (some may be able to better relate to the subconscious but unconscious would include listening to yourself in dream state as well) I knew that I had to do the one thing I felt was right. The one thing that I had regretted for so long and never realized it until I dealt with it. It was the fact that I never felt close to the island or culture of Puerto Rico. That in all the years that I was around Spanish speaking family, I never learned the language. That I breezed through all sorts of Spanish courses and never felt adequate enough to practice. That I would go my entire life working, working, working, working, working and never understand what it was like for my family to live in such a BEAUTIFUL place!

When I finally decided to visit the island… alone… last April I fell in love with everything that it represented for me personally. It was the start of a brand new book and this one is definitely a “page turner”. When I started listening to myself, what do you know? Slowly but surely my body began to twitch a little less and I started to do the things I knew I should be doing for myself and could no longer wait to an undetermined time in the future to make it happen.

I hit the gym like a mad man, I took control of my dietary habits, and started to be honest with myself and others. “No” became a part of my vocabulary and I was able to resist the feeling of having to deal with other people’s priorities! So that’s how I ended up moving to Puerto Rico. Now six months later I can say that my book is still as interesting… a bestseller in my opinion.

But I am writing today to tell you that I am moving on to the next chapter. Who reads the same page of the same book everyday? Not me (by the way I have to admit that I have been sucked into Harry Potter and will not stop until they are all read. On my way to #5 this week)!!!!!!!! I am no longer in Puerto Rico and took the best deal I could find into NYC two weeks ago. Yes, that’s right I’m back in good ol‘ Connecticut. Back on the mainland and it’s just as cold as I remember.

It’s unfortunate in some ways because (and this is no lie) I got about 7 emails from people who were seriously considering booking a trip to PR anywhere between the end of February to September. Man I would have loved to have played host but hey…sticking it out would not have made me happy.

Without the luxury of a car, TV or disposable income, I spent a lot of time thinking and writing to and for myself (uh oh! dangerous I know). But, I also started to feel like I was settling into a routine. I was no longer challenging myself after a while. Having to deal with the Puerto Rican work culture also became very frustrating (story unto itself) and it became apparent that I had an uphill battle when my English lessons were slashed by the time I got back to the island from Christmas vacation. For me it was time for change and it was either move to Ponce and find a new place, job etc or make a dramatic change…but one that would not make me permanent.

I think I did a great job picking up Spanish and I probably picked up all that I could having moved to a city where you can certainly getaway with English. In fact most people want to show you how much they know and it takes me 10 minutes to explain to them that I need practice (”speak to me in Spanish“).

But, as some of you may know, the hardest thing for me was being away from Felicia (my girlfriend). We’ve gone through a lot together and my being away really tested us. In fact, there was a stretch where I didn’t know that we would end up back together but we were able to practice a lot of things that were easily masked by the fact that we could see each other ALL the time. We grew so much together that it actually got kind of gross. You know, up on the phone until 4-5am every night. I just checked myself one day and asked myself another set of questions. Was I still happy?-yes. Did I get what I wanted? - yes. Is there more for me to do here? -No….And that was it!!

For weeks Felicia and I had talked about my “re-entry” plan and it was to include us living together. It was also to include going after the things that I had identified as goals of mine. (1) Finding an opportunity in professional sports/sports broadcasting/or sports journalism (2) Living in or near a place that could stimulate me personally and provide opportunity professionally (thought it would be NYC) (3) Possibly pursue higher education such as an MBA program or a MFA in creative writing (although I’m pretty sure I want to pursue writing somehow and the MBA thing is still a relic from my days as “Mr. Practicality”).

Felicia is two years older than me and has felt for some time that she is ready to buy a place. Her mother is a realtor and she began the process of searching for 1st…Multi families as an investment 2nd…single family houses …. then the town changed every week until FINALLY I asked “where do you really want to live?” And I felt I knew the answer but wasn’t sure if she would actually tell me but for the entire two years that we re-connected (we actually met in college lost contact and bumped into each other…almost literally… at the the Taste of Hartford in 2004) she had expressed in some way shape or form that there was once place that she would LOVE to live. In her former role as talent scout for Model Search America she saw most of the major cities in the U.S.at least once, sometimes twice. Well……when she answered the question “where do you want to live?” she was honest. The answer Colorado.

I told her that it would have to be Denver because I needed to be near a city and that was that. We started looking at condos together online via email and the re-entry planning started. I thought I would shoot for a job with ESPN and live in central Connecticut with decent access to NYC but realizing the opportunities that potentially existed elsewhere I decided to challenge Felicia to follow her dream and let her know that I would support it and move with her so that we could start our own “page turner”.

I have done some extensive research and have applied to the Colorado Rockies internship program (long app and essay process) and have a job interview with a Sports Marketing firm and a local college. Felicia and I will be visiting Denver to look at places and interview next week 2/15-2/22. Things seem to be moving along as all of a sudden the dots are starting to connect in that “6 degrees of separation” circle. She has a childhood friend that coaches women’s basketball at Denver University and we have both run into people with ties to the state and I’m sure we will build a new network there in no time. Of course there is no replacement for family and close friends but we all need a support system.

My good friend Richard Brown with the Urban League of Greater Hartford has been working on a diversity career web site project for the league and when I reached out to him he asked if I would come on board and help him promote it. So right now I am working the lines and networks in Hartford to get employers to post their job openings at ULCareerCenter.com and to participate in the annual Urban League Career Fair.

I miss Puerto Rico but coming back to the main land was the right move. I am happy and excited about what the future holds. Denver has been rated a great place for health conscious people, Latinos and young professionals. They have 7 professional sports teams and have an overall love of the outdoors. The Rocky mountains play the backdrop for the downtown area and there is a whole new world out west that I will be exploring.

So with that, I am not signing off!! I hope that it is okay that I keep you with me as I continue to e-journal my journey through my own story (a story that I am now sharing of course). — Break a routine and challenge yourself to”take the road less traveled”—- I’m Gone!!!

P.S. If your idea of a vacation is seclusion and white sand beaches, you MUST visit the island of Culebra in your life.