A common expression used for a good book is a “page turner”. It’s easy to understand the meaning of this expression if you have experienced two things: (1) A story that you are unable to relate to and reads very slowly…may even seem dull (2) A story that seems to draw you in so you feel a connection to what is being detailed with words…somehow it’s appealing to you and captures your interest. Without having had both of these experiences, I would venture to say that you couldn’t really appreciate a “page turner” which would obviously be the later of the two described above.

For me, my life has been a “page turner” as of late. Not because I have been in a rush to get to the end (although I am keenly aware that there will be an end; that keeps me motivated to enjoy each page) but because it is uniquely mine and I have put myself in a story that appeals to me and ultimately makes me happy. I think that is so overrated these days and 1 year ago this month I began to really think about what it was that was going to make me happy (it was around my birthday on the 17th of course). Without thinking about what I was “supposed” to do or what was”right”… for once I paused to ask myself…‘WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE?’ Not, ‘what job do you want?’ Not ‘how much money do you want to make’. Not even ‘what will make your resume look good?’ Just simply…’what do you want out of life?’ Because when I turn that last page, the answers to any the above questions will not really matter.

So I sat down last year and scripted the following answers:

- To be orderly in person and work
- To not fear mistakes; only the absence of a response
- To contribute to the success of others that follow my path
- To maintain integrity at all times
- To make money a slave to my personal pursuits
- To become financially independent over time
- To seek first to understand, then to be understood
- To exercise wisdom in what I chose to eat
- To act and not be acted upon
- To keep free of addictive and destructive habits
- To continue to develop my awareness of culture, identity and personal strengths
- To learn from those that have come before me
- To continue to seek knowledge and new proficiencies
- To remember that true wisdom is a balance of knowledge and compassion
- To choose long term happiness over short term joy
- To have a family to protect and love

and the biggest one for me

- TO CHALLENGE MYSELF OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE

Having listened to my heart last year, I finalized a decision that my mind took many months to cope with. In fact, I think my mind was so set on auto pilot that it actually began to send aggressive signals to my neuro center. Some of you may know that I battled long and hard against a quirky (by no means dangerous or painful - as I’m sure we all know people that have dealt with or are dealing with serious disorders that are much more threatening) neurological disorder that literally put my body into fits when my mind was triggered by one of a few things including stress, nervousness, fatigue and anxiety.

When I finally realized that my body was screaming for me to ignore my instincts and to listen to my unconscious (some may be able to better relate to the subconscious but unconscious would include listening to yourself in dream state as well) I knew that I had to do the one thing I felt was right. The one thing that I had regretted for so long and never realized it until I dealt with it. It was the fact that I never felt close to the island or culture of Puerto Rico. That in all the years that I was around Spanish speaking family, I never learned the language. That I breezed through all sorts of Spanish courses and never felt adequate enough to practice. That I would go my entire life working, working, working, working, working and never understand what it was like for my family to live in such a BEAUTIFUL place!

When I finally decided to visit the island… alone… last April I fell in love with everything that it represented for me personally. It was the start of a brand new book and this one is definitely a “page turner”. When I started listening to myself, what do you know? Slowly but surely my body began to twitch a little less and I started to do the things I knew I should be doing for myself and could no longer wait to an undetermined time in the future to make it happen.

I hit the gym like a mad man, I took control of my dietary habits, and started to be honest with myself and others. “No” became a part of my vocabulary and I was able to resist the feeling of having to deal with other people’s priorities! So that’s how I ended up moving to Puerto Rico. Now six months later I can say that my book is still as interesting… a bestseller in my opinion.

But I am writing today to tell you that I am moving on to the next chapter. Who reads the same page of the same book everyday? Not me (by the way I have to admit that I have been sucked into Harry Potter and will not stop until they are all read. On my way to #5 this week)!!!!!!!! I am no longer in Puerto Rico and took the best deal I could find into NYC two weeks ago. Yes, that’s right I’m back in good ol‘ Connecticut. Back on the mainland and it’s just as cold as I remember.

It’s unfortunate in some ways because (and this is no lie) I got about 7 emails from people who were seriously considering booking a trip to PR anywhere between the end of February to September. Man I would have loved to have played host but hey…sticking it out would not have made me happy.

Without the luxury of a car, TV or disposable income, I spent a lot of time thinking and writing to and for myself (uh oh! dangerous I know). But, I also started to feel like I was settling into a routine. I was no longer challenging myself after a while. Having to deal with the Puerto Rican work culture also became very frustrating (story unto itself) and it became apparent that I had an uphill battle when my English lessons were slashed by the time I got back to the island from Christmas vacation. For me it was time for change and it was either move to Ponce and find a new place, job etc or make a dramatic change…but one that would not make me permanent.

I think I did a great job picking up Spanish and I probably picked up all that I could having moved to a city where you can certainly getaway with English. In fact most people want to show you how much they know and it takes me 10 minutes to explain to them that I need practice (”speak to me in Spanish“).

But, as some of you may know, the hardest thing for me was being away from Felicia (my girlfriend). We’ve gone through a lot together and my being away really tested us. In fact, there was a stretch where I didn’t know that we would end up back together but we were able to practice a lot of things that were easily masked by the fact that we could see each other ALL the time. We grew so much together that it actually got kind of gross. You know, up on the phone until 4-5am every night. I just checked myself one day and asked myself another set of questions. Was I still happy?-yes. Did I get what I wanted? - yes. Is there more for me to do here? -No….And that was it!!

For weeks Felicia and I had talked about my “re-entry” plan and it was to include us living together. It was also to include going after the things that I had identified as goals of mine. (1) Finding an opportunity in professional sports/sports broadcasting/or sports journalism (2) Living in or near a place that could stimulate me personally and provide opportunity professionally (thought it would be NYC) (3) Possibly pursue higher education such as an MBA program or a MFA in creative writing (although I’m pretty sure I want to pursue writing somehow and the MBA thing is still a relic from my days as “Mr. Practicality”).

Felicia is two years older than me and has felt for some time that she is ready to buy a place. Her mother is a realtor and she began the process of searching for 1st…Multi families as an investment 2nd…single family houses …. then the town changed every week until FINALLY I asked “where do you really want to live?” And I felt I knew the answer but wasn’t sure if she would actually tell me but for the entire two years that we re-connected (we actually met in college lost contact and bumped into each other…almost literally… at the the Taste of Hartford in 2004) she had expressed in some way shape or form that there was once place that she would LOVE to live. In her former role as talent scout for Model Search America she saw most of the major cities in the U.S.at least once, sometimes twice. Well……when she answered the question “where do you want to live?” she was honest. The answer Colorado.

I told her that it would have to be Denver because I needed to be near a city and that was that. We started looking at condos together online via email and the re-entry planning started. I thought I would shoot for a job with ESPN and live in central Connecticut with decent access to NYC but realizing the opportunities that potentially existed elsewhere I decided to challenge Felicia to follow her dream and let her know that I would support it and move with her so that we could start our own “page turner”.

I have done some extensive research and have applied to the Colorado Rockies internship program (long app and essay process) and have a job interview with a Sports Marketing firm and a local college. Felicia and I will be visiting Denver to look at places and interview next week 2/15-2/22. Things seem to be moving along as all of a sudden the dots are starting to connect in that “6 degrees of separation” circle. She has a childhood friend that coaches women’s basketball at Denver University and we have both run into people with ties to the state and I’m sure we will build a new network there in no time. Of course there is no replacement for family and close friends but we all need a support system.

My good friend Richard Brown with the Urban League of Greater Hartford has been working on a diversity career web site project for the league and when I reached out to him he asked if I would come on board and help him promote it. So right now I am working the lines and networks in Hartford to get employers to post their job openings at ULCareerCenter.com and to participate in the annual Urban League Career Fair.

I miss Puerto Rico but coming back to the main land was the right move. I am happy and excited about what the future holds. Denver has been rated a great place for health conscious people, Latinos and young professionals. They have 7 professional sports teams and have an overall love of the outdoors. The Rocky mountains play the backdrop for the downtown area and there is a whole new world out west that I will be exploring.

So with that, I am not signing off!! I hope that it is okay that I keep you with me as I continue to e-journal my journey through my own story (a story that I am now sharing of course). — Break a routine and challenge yourself to”take the road less traveled”—- I’m Gone!!!

P.S. If your idea of a vacation is seclusion and white sand beaches, you MUST visit the island of Culebra in your life.

My mother asked why I hadn’t written about Puerto Rico in a while so I feel like it is time once again to share with all what I have been doing. I now live in Viejo San Juan (hip hip hoorraaayy). It has taken a while to adjust to yet another move and a completely different environment. Toa Baja is relatively quiet and at night you can hear the sounds of the coqui as if they are actually in the house (along with the occasional lizard that loses his way). The rooster greets you in the morning with something less than a soothing early morning sound… and yet, I became used to life on the outskirts of the city away from the hustle and bustle.

With that said, Puerto Rico is the smallest of the islands that belong to the Greater Antilles group. The population here is roughly 4 million. Now we’re talking about an island where from any one point you can reach San Juan in no more than 1hr 1/2 - 2hrs. The city of San Juan has a population of almost half a million people (a city where everyone has at least two cars by the way). Old San Juan is not like the rest of the city obviously and it’s unique for several reasons. One, there is a historic code that regulates what can and can’t be built, how it should look etc. (meaning that there are no skyscrapers or gaudy looking buildings). Two, modern cars were just not meant to travel back in time. The streets in the old city were not designed for the massive vehicles we tend to drive these days and it is rather funny watching people struggle to maneuver the twists and turns of the cobbles stone streets. Three, when people think of the history of Puerto Rico, while it doesn’t start in San Juan, the city does play a very significant role and most of it is available for viewing.

The layout of the city itself is pretty interesting. There is the San Juan harbor that plays host to an endless number of cruise ships and slightly less warships. There is a small airport just off the harbor for private jets and seaplanes. I always think of Fantasy Island when I see a plane floating across the water. One day Tatoo (or Datoo) is going to jump out and say, “Dee Plane Dee Plane, look boss here come Dee Plane”. Around the harbor area is a stage built in the 90’s for outdoor concerts and often on the weekend you can enjoy traditional music and dancing (if you are so inclined) in the street. This area gets flooded with vendors selling arts and crafts and all types of frituras (Peurto Rican fried food) on the weekends.

San Juan is and has been the cultural center of the island for some time. It hosts a number of art studios and has the most distinguished fine arts school on the island. One night a month on “Gallery Night” (in English), artists open their studios until midnight and along with the private galleries they host viewings. People enjoy wine and drinks and pretty much soak up a safe night in the city. Viejo San Juan was built for people to enjoy the company of each other. The streets are built around placitas (small park square areas) with benches and usually a statue of someone I never learned about in school. These areas serve as the “turf” of the serious domino players or enraged pigeons that will stop at nothing to fight for minuscule morsels left by people eating lunch under a tree.

The harbor is at the lowest point of the city and makes a rather steep incline about 10 blocks west to the forts (El Morro) of San Felipe and San Cristobal (still haven’t figured out how to add accents to an email). Between the two forts is a place called “La Perla” and has a very bad reputation, which I’m not sure how much of it is deserved but nonetheless, I have resolved to not be the wiser by really not finding out. The pueblo sits on the side of a cliff by the sea and can only be accessed through a tunnel. For those that have traveled or seen pictures of the Caribbean, it’s a very typical looking island shanty town with homes that look like something out of a National Geographic I would have read when I was a child. This is told purely for relationship because I live two blocks east of the above mentioned area. By the way, two blocks in Old San Juan can be the difference of going to bed with gun shots or complete silence or the late night howls of a corner bar.

I live in an apartment with three other roommates who are all students at the Fine Arts school. Two (male and female - Wilberto y Alexandra) are from Boronquitos and Arecibo respectfully and are very …very young. I am often reminded of how I related to others when I was there age and it’s hard to imagine sometimes the growth one experiences (typically) just being 7-8 years older. However, they are very sharp and are picking up the English language rather well. There Spanish is ridiculously incomprehensible when they speak to each other but it is very helpful for me to be around native speakers as I have already learned a lot of things I couldn’t have on my own.

The third roommate deserves a paragraph to herself and if you knew her (Marga) I’m sure you would agree that no other way would be more appropriate. She turned 35 last week and has lived in Vieques (island of PR), Ecuador and Grenada (at least). She hails from Boston originally but became a traveler after getting divorced from her first and only husband whom she married at the age of 20. Having broken the “shackles” she has become very defensive and often oversensitive as I always call her. She has an intellect crafted by her own opinion (of which she has (very very very very many) and self study. Conversations between her and the other two roommates are always one sided as they cannot match her vocabulary and logic stream in English. She speaks in English although she is fluent in Spanish because she wants the others to feel comfortable with it to help enhance there career. There are times though when we speak Spanish and they speak English but for the most part she speaks English. I must admit that it is nice to be able to speak to someone who can handle my sarcasm and humor being that the aforementioned are completely lost on Puerto Ricans. The cultural differences, which I will describe later, are much greater than I imagined. Just think about my habit of whistling. If I whistle “Whistle While You Work” when I’m in the kitchen it means absolutely nothing to anybody not raised in the U.S. It’s just so strange sometimes when I encounter these situations. People here think the Grinch is a Jim Carrey movie (which it is but by no means did we hear stories of “that Ace Ventura guy who steals presents”) as kids. Anyway, I digress… so that’s Marga in a nutshell (Austin Powers anyone?).

Now as for me… Well well well. I’m the guy who one day thought he broke the barrier of his frontal lobe by switching to Spanish but I quickly reverted back to English the next day. Seriously, I actually had a day were I was speaking Spanish. It was the coolest (for lack of a better word) thing that I’ve experienced in a long time. Well okay, it was more like Spanglish by the point is I wasn’t confined to my native tongue. I have yet to think Spanish first which I have been told by bi-lingual people that I am following a pattern very familiar to them and that I have retained a lot … as they don’t see that confused look on my face anymore when they speak Spanish around me. It’s crazy but I can actually understand Spanish. I mean if I don’t hear the whole conversation and can’t make out the context, yes I have problems… and the Reggaeton, I’m hit or miss with those lyrics (which is another thing I want to talk about). I take 1hr of free speech Spanish lessons a day M-F and a 1hr class on Saturday for grammar and the like. Man… I really should have paid more attention in Spanish class or continued studying (or gee how about talking at home to my mother?). I’ve heard verb conjugations I never knew existed. The neat thing about Spanish though is that there is a word for everything. This is not the case in English. We have words that mean several things and trying to explain that to my students is difficult at times (they just have to memorize). Our irregular verbs are ridiculously difficulty as they have no rhyme or reason. We don’t distinguish between masculine and feminine with El or La or endings like ion. In English you can’t tell if a teacher is male or female but in Spanish they are either a Maestro or a Maestra (bear with me as most of the Spanish I know is from conversation and I still haven’t seen a lot of words written. Therefore I still don’t know how to spell very well in Spanish). Not knowing how to spell very well is pretty funny. I’m educated by U.S. standards but an elementary school drop-out here. All of this makes me laugh to myself sometimes.

Now I must share my thoughts on Reggaeton. First off, it’s cool here for people to say “oh I don’t like it, it’s not “real” Puerto Rican music and it goes against our culture”. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but at the same time we experienced this during the late 70’s into the early 90’s in the U.S. with Hip Hop. I remember summers in the Bronx (home of Hip Hop) listening to KRS1, BDP, Big Daddy Kane, LL, Eric B and Rakim, EPMD and trying to spin on my head. I remember when Reggae hits like “pass the Dutchie” hit the streets of Hartford’s north end, home to a large population of Jamaicans. Here in PR I am experiencing first hand the infancy of a culture that could be as powerful as rap was for the Hip-Hop movement. I love the beats and am starting to be able to distinguish between artist and the lyrics. Dime… “dime cuando tengo que esperar” happens to be a favorite. Like anything, you have both good and bad but it’s pretty interesting to be a part of this and see how this movement is taken hold in its birthplace. It’s a definite youth movement now being penetrated by large businesses who know that people will pack coliseums for a show.

Well… I would write more (wanted to talk about cultural differences) but I think this is enough for you to chew right now. Plus I have some sopa de platano waiting for me. I’ll be in CT in late December and can’t wait to pull out my winter coat and Timberland boots to brave that weather (slightly facetious). Can’t wait to see the Maui Champions..Uconn Huskies live and in action too. I miss everyone dearly and you all continue to be in my thoughts.