May 10th, 2008

The Rookie

So now it official. I am a father as of May 2nd at 1:07pm. My daughter Maylia Quinn Jordan was born here in Denver at Rose Medical. A good friend sent me a text that said “welcome to the team rookie”. That’s exactly how I feel…just like a rookie.

It’s awkward changing a diaper for the first time or figuring out the best way to hold your child. But I’ll tell you that none of it matters right now. People told me that I would get very little sleep for the first few months. That indeed has come true so far, but I must admit it’s completely my fault. I’m sure I would be able to get more rest if I could just stop staring at her.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have more to write soon. In the meantime, feel free to check out www.mayliajordan.com

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March 28th, 2008

Fine Tuning My Role

I’ve spent 30 years fine tuning the roles I play in life. Of course I was a son before I became a student and a brother before I became a professional. My guess is that you understand this logic so far, but here is something you may not have an answer for… how do I prioritize what I enjoy most about each of my current roles (husband, brother, son, employee, friend)?

That is, how do I adjust for what may well be the most important role I will ever have as a man, “Dad”? Will this be a natural transition that yields to instinct? Or rather, will my progression be a learned skill that requires that I compartmentalize some of my current routines? Does that mean I may slight my wife as her husband or become less of a friend in the process?

Sure I have more questions than answers, but the journey and discovery phase of what I am experiencing as an expecting father brings true joy at this stage in life. It brings true joy in spite of the fact that at times I feel helpless when I confront the truth of having to fill yet another role. As much as I have denied it over time, I am NOT a multi-tasker. With that in mind, how will I shuffle the cards that life has dealt?

I think the answer has to be faith. Now I’m not talking about faith as in a higher being (topic for another time). I mean faith in the true meaning of believing in the unkown to the point of express optimism. When I went to college I brought as many of the suggested dorm nick-nacks as possible, yet in hindsight, none of those items helped me survive life as a co-ed. I picked out work clothes when I was hired by a life insurance company after graduation, yet clothes did not prepare me for the culture shock of corporate America.

Like the dorm nick-nacks and the business attire, I believe the toys, onesies and diapers (plenty of those) are a great start. However, it will be the faith I have of knowing that I will succeed in my new role as father that will see me through the onslaught of internal questioning and doubt. The successful progression of a man has to be defined as his ability to adapt to each new role that life brings.

Some boys never become men and some men with children never become fathers. In the end, my fear of failing to progress in my life journey fuels my blind trust.